Why Moms Need Mom Friends

mom friends__1450460430_50.248.249.179As your kids grow up, having friends will be an important part of their development and socialization.  It helps them learn essential social skills like sharing, compromise, social norms and to value differences in others.  Well, just like kids, moms need mom friends too.  It is a crucial part of our health and wellbeing and can really help us navigate the challenges of motherhood, marriage and beyond.  Today we’re exploring why moms need mom friends and how these relationships can make you a better mom.

Any mom who tells you she’s got it all figured out is probably not being honest.  No mom does and that’s why we need to rely on each other for advice, support and sometimes a good laugh.  In fact, this social interaction is an evolutionary part of how women are hard-wired to cope with stress.  With all the joys that motherhood offers, taking care of children often invokes stress, anxiety, frustration and worry.  A woman’s natural response is to reach out to her intimate network in these trying times.  Experts say that mothers of young children need to know they can rely on someone for support, which in turn makes them better mothers and improves the healthy development of their children.  Now that makes mom friendships pretty powerful!

The need for mom friends doesn’t replace partners or other family members’ role in the lives of our family, but mom friends offer a perspective that husbands and our own mothers often cannot.  Mom friends are usually in the trenches with you.  They understand that, while we wouldn’t give up the fleeting precious moments with our kids, they can also be utterly frustrating, exhausting and make us feel downright lousy sometimes.  This deeply contradicting set of emotions is completely understood by other mothers who are experiencing the same challenges.

Because mom friends are going through the trials and tribulations of motherhood along side you, they may have some really helpful advice too.  Even a mom with a child a few months older than yours can share experiences, mistakes, successes and solutions that may make your situation easier.  And if they can’t, they can commiserate with you at least.  Because sometimes there is no solution and we all have to remember that the phases of childhood come and go quicker than we could ever imagine.

Unlike your husband, your mom friends come from a female perspective, which alone gives them an advantage to understanding your frame of mind.  Women and men view things differently – it’s something that we cannot change.  But leaning on mom friends when your husband doesn’t “get it” can be a saving grace.  That’s not to say that you should be making crucial decisions for your child without consulting your husband, but seeking guidance from mom friends may offer reassurance in ways your man cannot.

Also, your mom friends stimulate your brain in ways that spending your days with babies, toddlers and kids does not.  Sometimes we all just need to talk about something besides Sesame Street, superheroes and dirty diapers.  Mom friends can take some of the loneliness out of motherhood.  Whether it’s through venting, gabbing, having a good laugh about your mom blunders or getting into a deep heart-to-heart conversation, the power of mom friends can lift you out of the kid bubble and remind you that you are more than just mom.

Motherhood is an incredible journey, but so is your life as a woman.  Once you become a mom, separating the two is impossible, but having mom friends can elevate both of these aspects of you.  We hope you value your mom friends for all these reasons and all the wonderful other ways they improve your life!