8 Reasons to Stop Comparing your Baby

Comparing your baby to others may feel like human nature when you become a mom.  After all, developmental milestones come with a timeline and when your baby doesn’t hit the mark right on time, you may feel worried and disappointed.  However, before you stress out about keeping up with the Jones’ baby, there are so many reasons to stop comparing your baby.  We’re sharing eight of them today.

1 – All Babies are Different

You’ve heard this time and time again, and there is a good reason why.  It’s true!  Your baby’s abilities are just as unique as the way she looks yet somehow it is easier to accept the expression of eye-color genes than those that determine when your baby will hit a particular milestone.

2 – Reaching Milestones Sooner has Little Effect on the Future

If you believe that early walkers are better athletes or early talkers become famous authors, think again.  This misconception is not true for the most part.  As long as your baby learns skills steadily within a normal range according to your pediatrician, her potential will not be limited by when she checked off the developmental milestone boxes in her first year.

8 Reasons to Stop Comparing your Baby3 – Your Baby May be Focused Elsewhere

Babies tend to focus on one new skill at a time.  If your baby is learning to roll or grasp objects, she may not babble as much.  Or if your baby is working on understanding your words, she may pause on learning to crawl.  Then all of the sudden, many new skills emerge and your comparisons (and worries) were for nothing.

4 – You’re Missing what is Special about your Baby

When you spend your time comparing your baby to others or fretting over the milestones chart, you’re going to miss out on what is special about your baby.  Learning to celebrate your child for who she is will be an important parenting lesson for you.

5 – Restricts Bonding with your Baby

Recognizing and championing your baby’s unique character will help you form a lifelong bond.  When you are hyper critical, it can get in the way of feeling close to your baby.  While you may think you’re hiding your feelings, your baby might pick up on your subtle neuroses.

6 – You Don’t Live with other Babies so your Comparisons are Unfounded Anyways

What you see of other babies is probably not how they act all the time.  Some babies are very calm in public but cranky at home.  Some babies feel uninhibited to show off their talents anywhere while others are shy outside the comfort of their own play space.  It’s silly to compare without even having all the facts, which would be impossible anyways so just don’t do it!

7 – Sets the Stage for Stress and Low Self Esteem

Comparing your 3-month old now could turn into 18 years of comparing your child in the future.  Surely your child will pick up on it at some point, which can damage her psychologically through stress and lower her self esteem.  Instead, boost your baby’s self esteem by being proud of who she really is.

8 – Your Baby’s Temperament and Skills aren’t a Reflection of You, but Comparing Is

As a parent your job is to provide opportunity for success throughout your child’s youth.  If you are meeting your baby’s basic and developmental needs, her developmental patterns, sleep style and behavior are mostly out of your control.  Comparing your baby and blaming her or yourself is fruitless and a poor reflection of you.  You will come across as caddy, self-centered and unkind rather than the loving parent you are trying to be.

We hope you take these reasons to stop comparing your baby to heart so you can celebrate all that is special about your precious child.